Everyday we are creating meanings about everything that happens in our world.
If the sun rises on a clear beautiful sky, you might make that mean “It’s going to be a fantastic day”. And, you do have a fantastic day.
If you drop the milk while you are making your first coffee of the day, you might make that mean “It’s going to be one of THOSE days”. And, you do have one of THOSE days!
If you are having a challenging time attracting new clients, you might make that mean “Business is slow” or “I’ll never get any clients” and the same results continue.
If your relationship isn’t as close as you would like it to be or you are arguing, you might make that mean “My partner doesn’t understand” or “My partner can’t be bothered” well you can imagine the kind of results you will get with those meanings.
When you create a meaning around a specific situation or event, it affects your focus, your emotions and your behaviour.
You are sub consciously looking for proof of the meaning. As you notice proof of that meaning, you feel emotions associated with that meaning. Your emotions affect your behaviour and your behaviour creates your results.
So if you have decided to believe “Business is so slow” or your partner doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to, you might be noticing lots of evidence to prove it true. You might feel a lack of confidence, feel frustrated, or you might even have a feeling of hopelessness.
The way you feel will affect your energy, your body language, the way you speak, your behaviour and the kind of actions you are willing to take or not.
You might stand slightly stooped, your breathing might be quite shallow, and you might speak in a tone that lacks clarity. Or, you might experience the opposite; you might become overly assertive or aggressive in your approach. Either way, you will not experience the results you are looking for.
Now, business may quite possibly be slow at the moment, and I am sure you are seeing that, because that’s why you have created the meaning. Or your relationship may be going through a challenging time. But, you are going to have far more chance of changing those results when you change the meaning, even if it doesn’t feel quite true to begin with.
Tony Robbins talks about this in his book “Unlimited Power”. He shares the story of keynote speaker W Mitchell, a man who suffered burns to three quarters of his body after a horrific motorcycle accident. He recovered and continued his career only to become paralyzed from the waist down following an aircraft crash.
This man could have chosen to make this mean that his life was over and there was no point in living. Instead he chose to make it mean that his life had a purpose and went on to inspire others as a keynote and motivational speaker. This amazing man has experienced the results associated with the meaning he chose.
When you choose a meaning around something, your results will directly reflect that meaning. So it’s very important to be aware of what you are choosing to make things mean, so you can experience the results that you want.
Be aware of your self-talk
When faced with a situation or an experience, be very aware of your internal self-talk. Your emotions will give you a clue of whether your self-talk or meaning making is serving you in achieving the results that you want.
You do have a choice
Acknowledge that you have a choice in what you make things mean. Nothing has meaning except for the meaning we give it. When you acknowledge this it gives you the power to change.
Change the meaning
Choose to interrupt the flow of thought and change your meaning to one that will serve you in achieving the results you want. You will know if the meaning serves you by the empowering emotions that you feel.
At the end of the day your results, whether it’s in your personal life or your business always come back to you and your own mindset. When you acknowledge this and focus on what you can control and influence, which is only ever you, you will be amazed at how your external environment and results change.